Ask the Therapist
Are All Bipolar People Extremely Unstable?
My aunt has bipolar disorder and has made rash decisions such as leaving her 16 year old daughter and moving to Florida, then moving back home, then going to Florida again. She has had several husbands and her life is very unstable. She used to spend weeks in bed, and she can't hold down a job. I would like to know if this type of behavior is a widespread occurrence in people with bipolar disorder, mainly because my boyfriend has it (he's 17 and we have been together for 1 1/2 years), and while he does have alternating manic/depressive stages, they are never close to being as extreme as the behavior my aunt has exhibited. I realize you don't know enough about either situation to give a proper assessment, but I would just like to know if people with bipolar disorder are classically unstable, etc, because my mother seems to think that is the case. I'd appreciate anything you have to say on this categorization of bipolar people that I have been presented with all my life. Thank you.
Mental illness, like all things, has a range. Your aunt sounds on the extreme end of things. Your boyfriend, less so. Most low and middle range
Bipolars function pretty consistently, if they take their meds and stay focused on what they learn in therapy. The thing that's important for you to recognize is that your boyfriend is 17...he still has about 7 years before his hormones level out and there is really no way to predict what his behavior will look like on a regular basis before that happens.
If it's good now, good. If you have strong feelings for him, you have to decide whether or not you are willing to volunteer for a long (or longer) term relationship with someone whose behavior may be profoundly erratic at times and very disruptive. Remember, no matter how deeply you care for him, your primary responsibility to is to yourself -- especially at your age. Things will look much different to you in 10 years.
