Ask the Therapist
PTSD....How do You Know if You Are?
On March 17, 2001 i was involved in a major car accident...long story short, my roommate fell asleep at the wheel of my car and we drove off a bridge into a ravine 19ft below. Luckily we survived, she was unharmed besides some soreness and bruising, but i broke my femur into three
separate pieces. I was hospitalized for just over 2wks after they placed a titanium rod into my leg along w/ 2 pins in my knee and one in my hip. Then after being released and returning home less than 24hrs i had a temp of over 101 and was taken to the hospital again...this time in the town i live in. They
diagnosised me w/ anemia & gave me a blood transfusion. I was in this hospital for just under 2wks...so a month of my life i spent in the hospital at the age of 20. My roommate was my best friend at the time, so my relationship w/ her suffered, along w/ the rehab of learning how to walk and try to salvage any of the classes i was taking in my 15hr course load.
Needless to say i went through severe depression, and also therapy, but that didn't last. I was also medicated for the depression, Celexa. I
didn't realize how it was supposed to work and began to self medicate by not taking it or taking 3 in one day b/c i didn't feel the affects of it. After this i had a suicide attempt w/ some sleeping pills that
I'd gotten from my PCP due to my vivid horrific dreams along w/ insomnia...there was also another attempt involving alcohol &
Vicodin I'd gotten for pain (but this was after the surgery of trying to take out the hardware a year later). My main concern is that depression & manic depression run on both sides of my family, and it seems that the past 2 years from March till Mayish
I get the depression, apathy, mood swings, dreams all involving cars or falling, obsessive thoughts and
reoccurring visions of the accident & hospital time (also ever since the accident my sexual appetite has increased so much that it has made it very difficult to have a long term
committed relationship). These feelings seem to pass,...at least not being as severe as they were. Is this
post-traumatic stress? or is there something else going on? i haven't found a therapist that i feel comfortable w/ so going to an
anonymous person seems like a viable option to me. thank you
What you are describing sounds like almost classic PTSD that shows up in a "low cycle". What that means is the intrusions (nightmares, day dreams, panic) show up for short bursts (March to Mayish) over a long stretch of time (from what you describe 8-9 months).
As for your secondary concern, a profound trauma as you describe occurring in late adolescence could well trigger the onset of episodic depression. That's a maybe. More likely you may have a hereditary depressive aspect to your physiology (from the family history you've described) and the trauma has simply magnified it. That's not really an issue in an of itself, but that you have made a few suicide attempts makes it worrisome.
The hyper-sexuality (please tell me you are practicing safe sex) is often a feature of PTSD in women, as the physical contact decreases the sense of socio-emotional isolation. I actually had one patient who used to drive her boyfriends away because she was so sexually demanding and they, quite literally, could not keep up.
I would suggest that you seek out a psychiatrist and get a qualified diagnosis. S/he will likely prescribe something and this time stick with the dosage prescription! Also, I don't know if you are physically active, but Yoga is a great support for sufferers of PTSD. It centers and can help draw you through the "intrusions" and nightmares. Also, it's physiologically (not emotionally, mind you) impossible to be depressed when you are undertaking a regular course of exercise. You might also want to put some Full Spectrum light bulbs
(grow lights) in your house -- you can get them at the health food store and
most department stores. They mimic sunlight and activate the body's Vitamin B processes, minimizing depression.
