Ask the Therapist
BPD and Abuse
How accurate is the person with Borderline personality disorder about her abuse? A woman I know claims that she was sexually abused, but her timeframe and other details do not jive with other details. Also, I understand that BPDs blame their mothers for the abuse and neglect. How accurate is this? Have you worked with BPDs and their mothers?
As a rule, borderlines are fabricators for the sake of leverage, manipulation and pity. When the "I was raped by my high school boyfriend" fails to continue to elicit the same response, it can easily become "I was repeatedly raped and terrorized by my high school boyfriend". That's not to say you should question everything that a diagnosed BP says, but the grain of salt is always a good choice.
As for the mother being the scapegoat, I have not heard this. I have BPs blame everyone...and they will blame everyone, even you -- even those who try to help. They will also repeat the blame...the "my mother was abusive" dance can become the "you are just like my mother, you're both the same" dance in a heartbeat.
I have worked with BPs and their family systems. It is unquestionable that the crucible of the family forges the tendencies that either lead a person to BP features or leads them to a situation or situations that foster BP features (remembering that BP is a psycho-social (read: learned or fostered by environment) condition, not something that is hereditary or organic), but specifically the Mom?...suspect.
