Ask the Therapist
Friend with Bipolar Disorder
My roommate has been diagnosed with bipolar disorder in the past. However, during a recent depressed mood, he went to a psychiatrist who told him that he had Social Phobia and prescribed him an antidepressant and an anti-anxiety medication. Recently, he has had some mild manic symptoms followed by depression. Some days he will not even get out of the bed. He says that he doesn't want to talk about it with me, but when I ask about seeing a therapist he says that he doesn't know. It's really frustrating for me because I want to help him, but I feel like he doesn't want any help. How can I understand how he feels without ignoring the problem he's having? I don't want to force him to seek professional help because I want it to be for him, not me. He says that the medicine that he's on makes him feel better, but then he still gets depressed. What can I do from a friend's standpoint?
Everyone's perspective is their own. I had a colleague once say to me, "Remember, we are _practicing_ medicine." That has stuck with me for a long time in terms of keeping me humble. Unfortunately, many of us in the medical community think we know best. The psychiatrist who saw your friend recently, no matter how talented, saw what he saw based on what your friend told him...perception is reality. What I'm trying to say is that, the "new" diagnosis he was given may have been completely appropriate in the moment, but may have overlooked the bigger picture.
You can't help your friend if he doesn't want to be helped, but you can support him. And that may mean volunteering to go with him to someone else for an evaluation. If he was given an anti-depressant for whatever reason, it will make him feel better. The thing is that it may not be the right medication to address the entire issue. You can't force him, but you can offer your support and suggest you go with him or help him find a place or person to go to. He's depressed, he won't do it himself. It's a little enabling in terms of his helplessness, but sometimes people in need have to be "mothered". Take charge. Help him out.
