Ask the Therapist
Boss is a Control Freak
I have a question about my boss. Whenever I have to communicate with him, I come away not knowing what he has said. I am not the only employee that feels like he is speaking another language, others do too. When we have staff meetings, he will say something about an agenda item and even though he stays on topic we all look at each other after he is finished and cannot figure out what his point was. He has his PhD so we know he is a very intelligent person.
He is very into orderliness and cleanliness. His dress is perfect and he makes all of us feel like we are underdressed.(he readily admits he doesn't own a pair of jeans). If his secretary is out for a day, he is in a vile mood and takes it out on everyone. I recently informed him of when I would be taking five days of my vacation and he told me I couldn't do it without asking permission first. In other words, he wants me to beg to be able to take my vacation. Everyone else grovels to his moods, but I feel like this is enabling him so I don't and this makes him even more irate.
Here are some more examples of his behavior:
His mood swings appear to be worsening. He may be very horrible to me on a Friday, and by Monday he will try to be extra nice in an attempt to smooth things over, but by Friday it will once again be impossible to be around him. He will not let us hang anything on the bulletin boards at work without his approval or decorate our offices. He recently purchased all new filing cabinets for his administrative offices because the existing file cabinets were the 'wrong color' (we are supported by tax dollars, so not very economical!!)
I have never worked for someone who had such a horrible time communicating, he should be a politician because he is a master at skirting the issues. He wants us to believe he knows everything about the organization, but he often gets confused and may not know the difference between two very simple terms. He is incapable of making a decision. Sometimes when I ask him a question that I need a decisive answer on he will answer, '"yes/no" When you meet with him, he makes you feel like a child and he can be verbally very cruel to some staff members. If you get on his list, he will make life miserable for you. There is a certain local organization that did not promote him to an administrative position and he will not allow us to have any speakers/dealing with that group.
Can you please give me some insight. Am I enabling his behavior if I walk on eggshells around him or should I stand up for what I believe and tell him like it is. (Note: I am not afraid of him firing me because I don't think he is brave enough to do it) Please let me know how I should handle him, what you think his problem is and if I should start updating my resume??
So, your boss is a control freak who is afraid of confrontation, is somewhat obsessive and has issues of power and control. He makes you and the lives of those around you miserable, demeans you and is, from what you've said, a poor manager. You are staying in this job why? Update your resume.
A PhD doesn't always mean you're intelligent, especially these days. In part it means your were persistent, knew when to keep your mouth shut, played university politics and could afford the credits. Intelligent people are clear when they speak, because they know what they are talking about and are not afraid of saying it with authority. The authoritarian version of mumbling is skirting the issue.
