Ask the Therapist
Cold Feet
This is regarding my fiancée. I proposed to her and she
accepted. We were finalizing plans to get married. But
she called it off 7 days prior to the wedding. She
tells me she was freaking out. She needed to interact
more with me. She also says that she has a fear of commitment. I have asked her and she denies having
any other man in her heart. When she called it off, she
stated the reasons that were finding faults with me
that I can do nothing about. She told me that I am
younger than her, shorter than her and that I am not a
doctor. She knew these things all along. Why did she
do that? We again got in touch. Then she told me that
the date-pressure for marriage was too much for her.
My questions are:
1. Should I pursue this girl?
2. Is she suffering from some pyschological problem
like borderline personality disorder.
Please give candid answers. I am at a position where I
can go either way with her. So it will not hurt my
heart much.
Sounds like plain old cold feet with a lot of (pretty thin) excuses. I can't tell you what to do, but I can tell you that someone who behaves in this way is probably emotionally unavailable and, even if you were to work it out, that will always be a concern.
What is most important is that you do what is best for you. Your insticts will guide you and the fact that you are even questioning pursuit speaks pretty loudly, don't you think?
