Ask the Therapist
BPD and PTSD
If a person has received different diagnoses, then how do they know what course of action to take to obtain help?
My first encounter with therapy was after a rape. I was tentatively diagnosed with BPD. After attempting suicide (swallowing 200 sleeping pills), I was forced into therapy where I was diagnosed by the therapist as MPD. The psychiatrist said he didn't believe in MPD, and he diagnosed me with Severe Depression, Single Episode and PTSD.
Years later I returned to therapy, and I am not certain what the therapist listed as a diagnosis, but that psychiatrist diagnosed Severe Depression, Single Episode as well as Generalized Anxiety Disorder, and he commented that he was not certain if I was a very mild bipolar or not. After a few months of seeing him (he prescribed Wellbutrin and an anti-anxiety drug, but I cannot remember the name.), he told me that he did not think I was bipolar at all.
I have read some of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual that is used to diagnose and treat people. In my very unprofessional and untrained opinion, it seems that there are a few features from different disorders that apply to me!
So, I have sought out professional and self-help, and I am still a bit confused as to where to go from here. Perhaps I "can't see the forest for the trees". I am hoping you can offer some guidance!
and, if it is important, the reason why I am interested in returning to therapy is so that I can gain skills and understanding. I never want to relive traumatic or abusive situations again, and I think that therapy could help me to bolster my sense of self image, etc. that took a beating from past experiences.
The person who diagnosed you BPD overstepped. Rape victims who do not integrate the experience succesfully generally experience PTSD...that can, when the individual is already predisposed to certain states of mind like depression or anxiety, translate into Complex PTSD...which is Post Traumatic Stress Disorder with Borderline features. This is not a diagnosis on my part, but a gross generalization based on the consistent outcomes of sexual-emotional trauma across time and populations.
The person who diagnosed Severe Depression, Single episode and PTSD was probably closest to the mark. He put your behavior in context and that is the difference between therapy being an art and it being a cook book. Many diagnostician do not listen, they just slap a label in you based on your behavior.
My suggestion would be to focus on the PTSD, while being aware that you have an underlying predisposition to depression and anxiety that is informing your experience of the rape and probably causing the consequent feelings around safety, security and self-esteem to generalize. Stay with the meds at least until you can sort out the PTSD -- they are appropriate.
