Ask the Therapist
What is Wrong With Me?
I am a 23 year old male, and have been having problems since the age of 8, I have been diagnosed with Trichotillomania, and Manic Depression with Severe Anxiety, and later it was changed to Severe Depression with Severe Anxiety.
I have been on SSI and have been recieving Medicaid since I was 10, but in 2001 I experienced a few weeks of total clarity and confidence, felt like I could do anything, so I told my mother, who was the one in charge of the checks, that I didn't want them anymore and I left home to stay with a friend.
Later that week I started working with that friend, and in the meantime my mother moved and didn't report moving to the Social Security place, so they stopped the checks and medicaid.
About 2 months into the job everything fell apart, that confidence was gone, and it was replaced with the feelings of anxiety and deep depression and eventually I was fired for not coming back in to work, I went back home and hid away in my room for about 6 months, after a while that "confidence" came back and I tried to work the same job again and after 3 months, the depression set back in, and I was again was fired, I have not worked since then, I can't even leave the house by myself anymore due to the anxiety.
My memory is totally gone, everything before the age of 15 is totally blank, and everything from 15 until 23 is clouded and in fragments, I stay confused all the time, so I don't really know all the symptoms I have experienced, which always leads to a different diagnosis, I have not seen a Psychiatrist/ Doctor in over 5 years,and this depression seems to get worse everyday, lately I have been experiencing really violent mood swings where I just totally lose control, and I have been slicing my arms and hands up during that time, I am to the point now where it's either help or suicide, I have asked my mother to get my Medicaid back, but she says it's impossible because in order to do get my Medicaid back I need to reapply for SSI and get reapproved, which she says is impossible because I worked for a total of 5 months (my first and only attempt at a job) so my questions, What is wrong with me and how can I get help? I mean is getting help even possible in my case?
Sounds like an acute mania, followed by a cycle back into the depression. Your aging, so the chemical imbalance underlying your disorder may be changing. See a doctor and get you meds adjusted.
