Ask the Therapist
Suspect Child Abuse
I'm 28 and don't live in the same state with my mother, but my little sisters still do. Two of them still live at home. I know she's physically and verbally abusive to them and don't know how to help the situation. Is there something that can be done to help the situation?
If I tell her I think BPD is what she has then she will cling to it as an excuse to behave the way she does. She was in a wheelchair for a couple of years so she fit into the wheelchair crowd, she's been gay though she has 7 children all by different fathers, she hangs out with people with diabetes and with Hepatitis C because she has those diagnosis' and she gets attention, and she's been diagnosed with multiple personality disorder. She will do anything to fit in, into any group- so bringing up this new diagnosis to her attention will only give her one more excuse.
Mommy Dearest has nothing on her! Us two oldest children have thought about getting the last two kids away from her to protect them, but I am afraid she would only ruin my life. She is a master manipulator of the world. As my father said once, "She could go to a garage sale and the people would pay her to take things off their hands." She would try to get the state to take away my child if I had anything to do with taking her children away. The last two children are 16 and 12.
The other day the youngest "fell" down the stairs. Sounds fishy to me. The outside of her ear was bleeding and mom kept her home from school the next day because her head hurt, and refused to take her to the hospital. Then mom made her carry every box out of the shed and put it on the front lawn- and then put it all back! I'm really concerned about the youngest because she is a very petite person and can't defend herself. She got a concussion last year and mom calls her "stupid" ever since.
Any suggestion you have on how I can help them would be greatly appreciated.
If you suspect child abuse, even suspect it, you are obligated to report it. If you have nothing to hide with regard to your own kids, then whatever your mother does is just so much smoke. In addition, if the state sees the situation, it may even put your mom in a position to get help or have the court demand that she seek treatment before it will hear why she should get the kids back.
From what you describe, your mom has a considerable number of issues. You are best served by rescuing the lives of those two kids and the devil take the hindmost.
You've touched a nerve, so if I sound adamant, it's because I am -- I am not a big fan of the "throw-away-kid" mentality that so many parents have. Put your hand out to the kids. See where you can get.
