Ask the Therapist
Threat From Husband With BPD
I am in the process of (trying) to
divorce a man I am positive is BPD. (He has almost all the criteria in the
DSM-IV plus once a PhD. Pyschologist performed a MMPI and found him to score
high in the psychotic deviate category.)
We have 2 small children together, ages 4 and 2.
He is Canadian and I am American and we were living in Toronto. When
living with him absolutely became unbearable and his treatment of me
unacceptable any longer I consulted a lawyer, packed up the kids and left with
nothing but a few clothes and toys for the kids and came to live with my parents
in NC.
That was almost a year ago. Since then I have
had to already fight one interim court battle (he brought) where he was trying
to get custody of the children. In his motion he flat out made up lies
about me although the judge seemed to see through his stuff and did award me
interim sole custody and child support (up to this point he refused to negotiate
a settlement agreement nor to pay support, etc. After the judgment, he
literally "disappeared" and he paid nothing and did not see the
children. Now all of a sudden 6 months later he wants to see the kids
again.
My question to you: How seriously do you have
to take death threats from a BPD? He has threatened to kill me before
(when I was still living with him) and since separation on one occasion he has
told me that I'm going to die and that's how he's going to get his kids back.
Could I really be in danger? What about my
kids? I know you don't really know enough to really know, but what is the
likelihood that BPD end up having someone killed or actually killing.
He has this pathological hatred of me and I cannot understand why. After I
left I found out he had another woman (he's now living with her) so I don't
understand why he's so angry at me...he wanted me to leave and did everything he
possibly could to get rid of me, treating me horribly, etc.
A threat is a threat. There is no way to judge if a person is capable of following through on that threat, as every person is different. You need to do two things. First, get a restraining order and second, find out what the laws are around threatening, stalking, etc. in your state.
