Ask the Therapist
BPD and Lithium
I'm an 18 year old sociology major. I have been diagnosed with clinical BPD, and I currently go to both therapy and am on Lithium for it.
I'm in the process of finding a new therapist, because my current doctor is not really helping with an important issue
I'm having. I'm engaged to a man 15 years my senior...we love each other very much (I proposed to him) but my worst symptoms seem to arise when I hear about or see his children. (he has 2 girls age 8 and 10 from a previous marriage.) the children live with ex wife and current husband. I have NO idea why this
is...I'm an only child as is he...and I've done so much research on this topic, and asked every person I know of. Everyone simply says that they have never dealt with an issue like this, and that I just need to "accept" it. I accept that these children are real and exist, yes, but I just react SO strongly when I hear them call us on the phone or when I see them, or even when I hear my
fiancé speak about them. This issue got better when I spent time with them, but lately it has just gotten worse. The thought that I have to share my
fiancé with anyone else is unbearable...any suggestions on books or ANYTHING that might help me resolve this would be GREATLY appreciated.
The Lithium script is for your depression, not the BPD. Your reaction is typical of the BP character who feels that the integrity of their (fantasy) world is somehow being threatened. You made the statement yourself...'the thought of sharing...'. You're jealous. Since you operate from the perspective of the BP character, you experience jealous rage. All of this is based on fear...of abandonment, of deception, of emotional infidelity. And that fear is driven by your inherent emotional and social immaturity.
Which brings me to my second point...you have no business being involved with, never mind being engaged to, a 33 year old man. The fact that he is involved with you points to his own emotional immaturity. The fact that you proposed to him and respond the way you do points to your issues of co-dependence and object rage. And all of this suggests, not only an extremely unhealthy relationship, but a disaster waiting to happen...and the fallout from that disaster will most likely fall primarily on you.
You need to look at all of this objectively and in light of your mental illness. You are not making good choices.
