Ask the Therapist
Bipolar versus Alcoholism
I am 99% my Mom is bipolar, now I know you nor I can diagnose that, but all of the signs are there. I am 26 and she is 57. She gets in these episodes where she is always a victim and is helpless. She was an alcoholic and has recently quit. She had a relapse back in January and I quit talking to her for 2 months, the end of April. Now we are in the middle of April and she had another one of her episodes. She did admit that she has a problem, but is on
Wellbutrin. Now someone told me that an antidepressant can make a bipolar person worse off. Is this true?
The problem with this is that it is effecting me and my well being. She just won't get the picture and is hard headed. I have now cut off all ties with her b/c she brought it to my attention that my boyfriend was going to propose to me when she was down and out in one of her episodes. How horrible is that? I expressed to her that her telling me that hurt Sean (my
boyfriend) and I. The next day she wrote this hateful letter to my Grandpa on why I should not marry Sean. I see these actions as evil.
Now, she says that she know she will be on meds the rest of her life, but she is on the wrong ones. What do I do about
myself and my one wellness? This really tires me out and I really just can't handle it anymore. I feel like she is a lost cause. What do I do?? Of course in a couple of days she will think everything is back to normal.
Alcoholism is often complicated or motivated by bouts of depression. The "flipping", hard-headedness, victimization, and hatefulness you describe (at the risk of throwing out a diagnostic opinion) sounds more like borderline stuff than bi-polar. Borderline traits can often look like bi-polar because of intense sense of helplessness experienced by these individuals. One of the things you need to recognize is that, in either case, these individuals demonstrate a highly controlling nature because they themselves feel so out of control.
If your mother is taking Wellbutrin, she is in treatment. You might want to talk to her psychiatrist. If she is getting her script from her PCP, you might want to look at that. Either way, the
Wellbutrin was prescribed for a reason. As for it making bi-polars worse, I can see the logic in that, but the reality is less tenable.
What's important for you is recognizing that managing someone else's disorder can be all-consuming and it sounds like you're getting there.
