Ask the Therapist
New Spouse suffering from the BPD
I have recently recognized that I am married to someone who has Borderline Personality Disorder. I need help to deal with this situation. Can you suggest the best books to read/actions to take? Are there websites etc. that list helpful hints on handling
BPD behavior?
I note that you suggest that BPD is learned behavior and can be unlearned. How can someone with
BPD be approached to get help, though. I note in another answer that you suggest that she would see this as a betrayal if I did anything.
Two books I would recommend are "I Hate You, Don't Leave Me : Understanding the Borderline Personality by Jerold J. Kreisman" and
"Stop Walking on Eggshells: Taking Your Life Back When Someone You Care About Has Borderline Personality Disorder
by Paul T. Mason, Randi Kreger". As for approaching someone, just about anything you do will be viewed as an attack or an abandonment. You might want to suggest couples counseling...the therapist should recognize your wife's issues immediately and be able to develop strategies with you for coping, while also addressing her fragmented behavior.
