Ask the Therapist
Bipolar, BPD and Lying
Hi! I am 27 yrs old and have been diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder and Borderline Personality Traits. I am also a compulsive liar. I have lied all my life about big stuff to small stuff. For example, I have lied about having a miscarriage when I wasn't pregnant. I am looking into going to therapy to figure out why I have done this in my past. My marriage is breaking up over this and no one trusts me. No one in my family truly believes I am Bipolar because I have lied so much in the past. Does lying have anything to do with either of these illnesses?
Yes. Oftentimes Borderlines will lie in order to manipulate a situation or feel a greater sense of control. There is also a strong component of poor self-esteem related to borderline behavior, as well as fear of abandonment. Borderlines will lie in order to "look good" or to keep others from becoming angry or disappointed with them, so the 'other' won't leave. These lies can be simple stuff, like saying you were doing something like reading when you were actually watching TV or they can unfold into elaborate tales that include fictional events, people, experiences, etc. The real danger comes when the person begins to believe their own stories and begins to live a life based on those stories, rather than the reality that is before them.
