Ask the Therapist
Telling Children About Fathers Bipolar Disorder
My children's father has bipolar disorder. He doesn't always take his meds and they don't seem to work anyway.
I was wondering what is appropriate to be telling my children about why their dad is so moody. I don't ever want them to think his
behavior is their fault. My kids are only 3 and 4. I would also like to know when it would be appropriate to tell them.
Three things kids crave are structure, consistency and the truth. If their Dad had tumors on his face or developed MS or
Parkinson's, you would say, "Daddy's got "this" and sometimes he acts this way because of it." Same thing with mental illness. Be clear, be consistent.
They are 3 and 4, so something like... "Daddy has a hard time sometimes, sweetheart. Sometimes he's very happy and sometimes he very sad. People feel differently all the time, but it's not because you did anything wrong." ought to work. But use it like a mantra...over and over. As they get older you can change the language. And when you feel that they can grasp that people's brains can get sick, just like their bodies, you can explain what bipolar is to them.
Since they are so young, you might also try a metaphor, like a roller coaster or a speeding car that slams on its brakes...something they get.
